George Costanza might just be the most neurotic character ever put on television - short of Larry David himself, at least. From lying about his career to weaseling his way out of awkward social situations, George is the undisputable king of pettiness.
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Though it’s difficult to narrow down a list fromone of the greatest sitcoms of all time, it’s a good problem to have.Seinfeldis packed with excellent character moments and plotlines for George Costanza, but not every episode features him in the “A” plot; this list attempts to limit itself to those episodes where George’s story is the main focus, with special consideration toward episodes that really capture the character at his neurotic best.
10S7 Episode 19: The Calzone
Though not high on many lists, “The Calzone” is a perfect encapsulation of George: a crazy scheme to get in the good graces of his boss, getting banned from a restaurant for stealing his tip back from the tip jar, and the perfect Jerry-George conversation:
GEORGE: “If they don’t notice it, then what’s the point?”
JERRY: “So you don’t make the habit of giving to the blind.”
GEORGE: “Notbills.”
Though the premise of the episode is simple and silly - Steinbrenner gets addicted to calzones - it still manages to generate a lot of laughs and quotable moments. Stay classy, Costanza.
9S9 Episode 18: The Frogger
George doesn’t have a lot of things to be proud of, so what little self-esteem he does have is usually found in highly obscure, niche accomplishments - such as ahigh score at a Frogger machine. As with “The Calzone,” this episode centers around a really simple and absurd premise: getting a Frogger machine from a malt shop to George’s apartment.
The fact that George got a high score at a game like Frogger is a good exampleof George’s hidden genius…him trying to move it across a busy street, however, is definitely not.
8S8 Episode 05: The Package
Considered one of the most classic and celebrated episodes ofSeinfeld, “The Package” sees George bare (almost) all in front of Kramer’s camera in the hopes of catching a woman’s attention at the photo development place.
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Although the idea of paying for picture development might be one of those anachronisms that highlight the age of the show, George’s risque photo is nonetheless cemented as an iconic moment in television.
7S7 Episode 07: The Secret Code
In this episode, George forgets how to lie, resulting in him getting stuck with Peterman at the side of his mother’s deathbed. Meanwhile, he’s itching to tell somebody his secret ATM code - Bosco, as in the chocolate syrup - which incidentally becomes mother Peterman’s last words.
Seinfeld has its fair share of weird plotlines, but this episode is chock-full of them: Kramer becomes the ladder man of a fire engine, Jerry burns a hardware store down, and Elaine dates a man (the excellent Fred Stoller) because he can’t remember her. In the context of the episode, George’s misadventure with Peterman is almost mundane by comparison. Almost.
6S8 Episode 13: The Comeback
One of Costanza’s most quotable lines is actually from an episode that’s not even in the top 50 highest rated,according to IMDb anyway. In “The Comeback,” George is seen stuffing shrimp into his mouth during a business meeting, to which someone says:
REILLY: “Hey George. The ocean called - they’re running out of shrimp.”
It isn’t until he’s on his way home that George thinks of the perfect comeback, and he unveils it to the gang back in Jerry’s apartment:
GEORGE: “Oh yeah? Well thejerk storecalled, and they’re running out of you!”
Although supportive at first,they eventually express some doubtsabout George’s comeback, and he responds by concocting an elaborate scheme to trap Reilly in another meeting…which involves him flying all the way to Akron, Ohio, just to be in the same room with the guy.
5S4 Episode 07: The Bubble Boy
This episode needs no introduction, and anyone who’s played Trivial Pursuit in the past thirty years can probably quote the exchange that sends Bubble Boy into a rage.
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George’s insecurity is on full display in this episode, as he allows a bubble-bound boy (who turns out to be an adult) to get under his skin; it’s also some nice foreshadowing (George hates losing games), as he would go on to break up with a woman for beating him in chess.
4S8 Episode 09: The Abstinence
The only thing funnier than watching George suffer is watching him succeed.
In “The Abstinence,” both George and Elaine swear off sex, resulting in an amazing role reversal that sees George becoming successful (and oddly good at baseball) while Elaine becomes hapless and neurotic. It’s a tantalizing look into an alternate reality where George is an actual architect - or, perhaps, a marine biologist.
3S9 Episode 03: The Serenity Now
This episode is a strange one because the A-plot centers more aroundGeorge’s family as a wholethan George himself: his father once invented an alternative to Christmas called Festivus, which included such delightful games as dad-on-son wrestling and the airing of grievances.
Kramer convinces Frank to reinstitute the family tradition, continuing the show’s longstanding tradition ofpairing Kramer and George togetherin its storylines. Frank’s mantra - serenity now! - is said frequently in the episode as a means of calming down, though the Costanzas are much too high-strung to ever be truly calm.
2S5 Episode 22: The Opposite
Three seasons before “The Abstinence,” George and Elaine played another role reversal in season five’s “The Opposite.” Only this time, their reversal was based not on sex, but Jerry’s karmic equilibrium: if one is successful, the other must suffer.
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George comes to the conclusion that everything he does is wrong - therefore, by doing the exact opposite of what his instincts tell him to do, he’s able to achieve a remarkable amount of success, including getting a job with the New York Yankees.
Meanwhile, Elaine singlehandedly causes Pendant Publishing to close its doors, ruining Kramer’s coffee table book deal in the process. Of course, no character onSeinfeldis ever allowed to be truly happy, so this equilibrium swings back again in Elaine’s favor at the beginning of season six.
1S5 Episode 14: The Marine Biologist
“The Marine Biologist” is one of those episodes of a television show that are emblematic of everything it could be, and George just so happens to be at the center of its A plot. After Jerry tells an old acquaintance that George became a marine biologist after high school, George decides to try and date this woman -withouttelling her the truth.
It’s everything thatmakes George so lovably awful: the combination of an elaborate lie and a willingness to maintain that lie until the very end. And in all fairness to George, some good does come of it, as he saves a whale by removing Kramer’s golf ball from its blowhole. The end of the episode features a humorous monologue with Jason Alexander absolutely nailing the delivery.
